Two Sided Coin

 

My mother, my sister, and I meet weekly now as a prayer group- thanks to virtual meetings. 

 We began meeting for Advent 2020 after a year of high stress.  We have not stopped yet.  We are now beginning Lent and are doing a deep, yet whimsical study on the biblical aspects of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.  I love that story- but the study on Abiding Together's Podcast takes it to another level.

Last night was Ash Wednesday.

  It is beautiful when the relationship between mothers and daughters becomes a spiritual sisterhood.  That is happening to us.  

My mom-  my spiritual sister

So this past week we talked about the restoration of confession.  The "why" and the "undercarriage" of Reconciliation.  Father Josh Johnson led a meditation and discussion that was so beautiful.  Listen to the whole podcast here or jump to 20:36 for the meditation.  It is a great start for the beginning of Lent.

This podcast led us to another concept.  My mother said that usually, our strongest and best traits can also have the strongest tendency for sin.  This statement sat in the air for a bit and we all pondered it.  

I could see a coin with a shiny side and a filthy side.   

I asked my sister to think of her best trait.  What is the shiniest part of "YOU" that you know is your best strength?  (I felt the shaking feeling I get when prompted by the Holy Spirit as I asked this question).  She knew (and we knew) exactly what her shiny side was right away.  Now, tell me what is the opposite of that?  The flip side of that coin?  Think about that for yourself.  Self-reflection can lead to holiness when we invite God into that space.

The vulnerability became obvious and we realized that you better be around people who love you and whom you trust, when you do this. Confession is this way, too.  In order to receive restoration in this sacrament, we must pray.  I recommend that as a part of your process to look at the dirty side of the coin before heading to confession.  Pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you. The time we take before confession is very important.  Ask for God to help you as you prepare. 

We listened to Teri as she processed this and came up with the flip side of her "Penny".  She was spot on when she got there and we confirmed it.  Then it was my turn.  I tried to think of something that has been around all my life- not just now in my 50's.  When I said it- they both confirmed it. Somehow we all just knew to be quiet throughout the processing part and when the shiny side of the coin was stated-- Yes, that is it!  Then I went to the flip side.  Ouch- that stupid thing that gets in my way all the time.  The hard part of this was how much I have changed over time and yet still have the same tendencies.  I recall in my young adult life not wanting to go to confession if I was just going to do it again.  I heard Sr. Miriam suggest that this is meant to be "SIN MANAGEMENT".  Isn't that an interesting idea?  It helps to understand why to continue to go for restoration even when we keep doing the same stupid thing.  

I had to go underneath some behaviors and look at why I may act or react in a particular way.  I used to be very shy in junior and senior high school.  I would actually run the other way when given attention because I just couldn't handle it.  I recall running all the way home from City Hall one day in my junior year of high school because a very cute boy wanted to kiss me.  Me?!!!  RUNNNNNNNN   

My fifties have transformed much of me. My image became really important to me as a young adult. It was like a status symbol that somehow made me belong and feel confident.  But, my image took a turn in the last 7 years.  I still like to be noticed and given credit for things I care about, but now it is more internal.  But, there is something underneath all of this that leads me toward my tendency for sin (edging god out).  It comes from the root of the same problem with attention and self-absorption.  Wow, am I making my confession on a public platform this year?  What is happening to me and my image?  

The last mansion in the Interior Castle speaks of how little one should think about honors for if the soul is with Him it very seldom thinks of itself (p 228).  Spiritual marriage (a new concept for me) requires that others become more important.  As God grows more and more within us, we let go of self-involvement.  Oh, Lordie!! This is the opposite of attention-seeking and image building.  Keeping my eyes on the eyes of Christ (rather than my own reflection) will allow the graces God wishes to bestow.

 

It was one of those exercises that you wanted to do, and then you didn't because of the vulnerability.  Being vulnerable with God (and in our case with each other) is where the Holy Spirit does her work.  

God sees all of it- the shiny and the dirty.  He just holds us.  

The Parable of the Lost Coin        

8 “Or what woman, having ten silver coins,[a] if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it? 9 And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin which I had lost.’ 10 Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

The final word is one I heard from Father Josh Johnson- think about what proceeded your sin.  What came just before the sin?  Focus on that as you ponder confession.  It is the face of God we want to see- the eyes of Christ that we need to provide the strength and grace to move ahead and accept RESTORATION.

Jesus' words... I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Here are some coins suggestions

pride/vulnerability    

attention/sharing gifts     

know it all/the gift of knowledge

shame/life of the party-charismatic    

judgemental/compassionate   

Can you think of any more coins?

Meditation for the Grieving

Prayer with Clare of Assissi for the Grieving

I am walking with two saints right now.  Clare and Teresa.  

I have been reading and praying with them for about two months.  As I read these books together, I invite these women to pray with me and teach me.  They are my new friends.  I am going to pull what I learned today from Clare's "Meditation 12".  But first I would like to introduce you to her (in case you do not know her).  You are welcome into our friend group.  I see this as a group of girls that become great companions, but then, I do not want to leave the boys out.  So, if you are led to join this spiritual friend group- please make yourself comfortable and settle in.

Meditation 12

Meditation 12 is on Separation and Loss.  Most of us have experienced some type of separation and many of us have grieved a loss of a dear one. 

Clare suffered many separations.

• she left a noble status (her own choice)
• she was separated from her dear sister whom she adored
• St. Francis was a very close friend and he died many years before she did

Clare realized that she had to use all of her resources to know God better- even grief.  She was a person who broke new ground for women.  What was always expected for her by culture or the church would be changed forever.  The world was shifting as the medieval bend in the road appeared as the 1200s came into view.  Clare had 5 popes during her lifetime.  The gap between the noble and the poor created a new middle class.  Politics were causing dangerous situations throughout the world, and also in the Church. 

Saint Francis received a message to repair God's Church and was led to meet with Clare.  She had a reputation for holiness.  She eventually escaped her noble family and joined St. Francis' brothers with a small group of women who followed her.  They became known as "The Poor Ladies".

There is so much more to explore about Clare, but for this conversation, we will focus on her help with Grieving.  Please join me in prayer by click on Guided Prayer and Meditation (15 min.)

"May you go forward securely, joyfully, and swiftly, on the path of prudent happiness, not believing anything that would dissuade you for this resolution or that would place a stumbling block for you on the way, so that you may offer your vows to the Most High in the pursuit of that perfection to which the Spirit of the Lord has called you."

- Second Letter to Agnes of Prague 13-14 (2LAg 13-14)

(Agnes is Clare's sister)

Cast out your Net

This is a meditation I used with my LEMI friends on a special weekend

Meditation: Cast out your Net 

333

    Have you ever seen a number over and over?  I mean like on license plates, receipts, clocks, emails and social media, and more?  

I do.  I have been noticing "333" showing up almost every day.  At first, this seemed like a coincidence.  I would wake up over and over again and look at the time- it was usually 3:33.  So, at the time I thought I had a sleep problem- and learned that I did.  I had a sleep study done and realized that I was not getting enough oxygen at night.  At times, I stopped breathing.  So this seeing 333 in the middle of the night was explained... or was it?

About 2 years ago I began seeing it throughout the day.  I would pull up to a gas station and see the numbers 333 at the pump, or on a license plate, or on a clock.  One day I looked at my email- 333 emails were in my inbox.  Another day it just happened that I saw 3:33 on my phone or car clock (this happens all the time now).  I began taking pics because it was so often.  I would send them to my family as they occurred.  One day, my son sent me a youtube clip that described what the angel number meant for 333.  I was at a stoplight when I watched this video.  I looked up and there it was on the license plate in front of me.  This is no longer just a coincidence for me.  It is an expectation and comfort that my angels are winking at me.  I see it as divine and believe that somehow I am awake to notice my divine Holy Spirit letting me see that I am never alone and that I am protected.

My mother still warns me about spiritual things not rooted in scripture.  This warning is something I take seriously.  However, I am filled with peace, love, and harmony when I see this number.  It seems to bring me closer to my realization of the Divine God that I call the Holy Spirit.  This is the same divine god known as Jesus and the Father Almighty.  The same god of the Israel people.  Divinity is so expanse that my little mind only can see some of it.  I trust that my God is with me and protects me from happenings that I do not understand.  I also believe that my God is many others God even if we have various names.  I see us united in this peace, love, and harmony.  

I believe in mysticism.  I know that many have experienced God in mystical ways and have brought others closer to God as they shared these experiences.  My family has had people who have had gifts of dreams, healings, prophecy, and likely many other things that are not shared.  I have had many dreams that I believe were/are gifts to help me or others with 

our journeys.  I have had visions while in prayer that seemed like a dream- yet I was awake.  I have called friends/family about things I felt deeply in my heart and they have come to be.  It freaks my husband out at times.  It gives me peace as I feel like God is working through and in me.  I want to be used by God as needed.  I must admit that when this occurs I am amazed like a spectator watching it.  It does not feel like I had anything to do with it other than share it with others.

Seeing 333 seems like a comfort now- like God is winking at me 😉 and that I am always in the presence of more than myself.  I am on the right path and walking towards truth and my purpose. 

 I have been allowing God's Holy Spirit to dwell within and direct me and I am walking in the right direction.  I don't always know what I am to do, or where I am to go.  But, I know for sure I am to continue to pray for God's will and the strength to follow that will.  I have a nagging sense that I should be doing more- but I am not sure if that is coming from within me (ego) or beyond me.  I lift this sense up to my Father and ask for the Holy Spirit to nugde and inspire me for whatever that is.

I looked up 333 on YouTube and found a lot.  Some of the things I heard rang true- like that there is much growth.  I am aware of this in the past few years.  My intuition, creativity, and passion for being authentically used by God to spread his love are on fire.  This all came up in my research.  And so, I pray that the Holy Spirit continues to whisper and nudge me to whatever is needed.  Keep me awake.

Interior Castle: 2505

    

    When I was in junior high I was a really reliable babysitter. 

    I remember the day when I yearned to start babysitting for a particular family.  It was at the start of the school year and on my way to and from school, I would walk by this house.  In the front yard, there was a Japanese maple and someone told me that you could make a wish while holding one of the leaves and it would come true.

    One day on my way home from school I watched one of its leaves glide down in a breeze.  It was a brilliant, garnet red and I watched it flutter down to the Bermuda grass.  I picked up the leaf and held it in my small, freckly, bony hands.  "Lord, I wish that I might be able to make money and babysit here at this house".  

   

 I began to babysit for this family shortly after that wish-prayer was made.  This writing is not so much about the family or the pets I learned from.  It's a metaphorical spiritual journey using various houses.  So, let me describe what my memory recalls 43 years later.

    2505 was a one-level rambler that had converted the garage into a family room.  When you walked in the front door immediately there was a large square closet that blocked your view of the living room.  You could go right towards the halls that led to the bedrooms or left to the dining room and kitchen.  I always went left when I entered this house.  

    The dining room had a Japanese themed, solid, and thick dining table and artwork to match.  It looked expensive and I do not ever recall sitting at this table.  It was very elegant.  I almost always went straight to the kitchen and family room.  I seemed to know this was not my place. The kitchen was small with a white round table placed near the sliding glass doors.  There was green and white wallpaper that had large leaves in a seventies-style.  It was bright and sunny.  I learned how to make fried chicken from a frozen Banquet box with tater tots on the side and carrots with ranch dressing.  There was a drawer that always had an 8-pack of Wrigley's Freedent, Doublemint, or Spearmint gum. 

They also had a cabinet with Doritos, Fritos, popcorn, Chips Ahoy, and other great snacks.  I learned how to make an easy banana cake and other boxed baking treats.  I felt like a little mother and I loved it.  It was my first taste of independence.  

    The family room was just beyond the kitchen.  It had a shag rug in orange/brown color and I am pretty sure paneling on at least one wall with a bay window to the front yard.  I usually sat in the recliner and watched the Love Boat and Fantasy Island on Saturday night.  The TV was its own piece of furniture that sat on the floor.  We were used to looking somewhat down to watch T.V.  I can still see the large antique chastity belt that was hung above the TV.  Yes, I said chastity belt.  It looked like it came right out of a medieval castle.  I had no idea what it was.  Mrs. Z loved to collect antiques and had a knack for design.  I sat in that recliner for at least 3 years staring in the direction of a chastity belt.  I did this during my adolescence.  Now, that is something to excavate.

    Teresa of Avila says that "women are slow and in need of instruction in everything" at the beginning of her book the Interior Castle.  

    Don't you think that is hard to read?  I do.  However, I felt this way in junior high all the time.  The idea of needing instruction in our own celestial building does indeed require slow and patient instruction somewhat like preschool.  My sister, Kris, is a preschool teacher.  Her patience and attention to building upon previous knowledge are how she is so perfect at teaching these little ones.  It is the step by step basis for growth.  I am using this concept of building with the houses of my youth to begin my Interior Castle journey.  Kittery Lane had two houses that had an impact on me as a kid.  My own house and 2505.  Let's take a look at 2505.

     The backyard at 2505 was my favorite place to be.  The glass doors from the kitchen led to a covered patio with speakers.  There was often music playing from a radio station (usually WPGC with pop music or Light Rock).  We heard music like John Denver's Country Roads, Oh Mandy by Barry Manillo, or Harry Chapin's Cats in the Cradle. It felt like somehow this space was the place to be.  You immediately stepped from the green and white kitchen onto outdoor grass carpeting and the plants were abundant, especially the hanging ferns in macramé holders.  We all learned how to make these with Mrs. Z in the late '70s.  There was a built-in pool with lounge chairs perfectly placed and big floaties to lie on.  I loved spending time there.  I wanted a life like this with comfort, ease, and beauty.  

    This house was my first comparison of what I did and did not have.  I learned to desire.  I wanted life to be classy and easy.  I wanted the image that life was going beautifully.  I wanted less suffering.  I was fooled.  This may have been one of the first lies I chose to accept as my truth.  Beauty and comfort do not always lead to happiness.

    2505 and 2516 Kittery Lane are at the center of my massive Interior Castle.  There are more houses to add but these two are in the center.  I am fortunate that I had more than one house to begin with.  The opportunity to wander down the street and expand affected who I became.  However, the delusions must be sorted out.  We all have truths and delusions.  We have who we are and who we were created to be, and who we wish we could be that never was intended.  Both of these houses gave me truths and lies about myself which I accepted.  

    Delusions I accepted from 2505:  

• I need to be more than what I am and I need to have an image of success and beauty at all times in order to be accepted.   
• Suffering must be avoided at all times and I must hide my pain.  
• People with "stuff" have a better life.
• Other people have it better than me

     Truths I Learned from 2505:

• Adults are not so different from kids- they just have more to take care of 
• I am a hard worker, trusting, likable and dependable
• I can talk about girlie-stuff like tampons and sex and more with an adult (which I rarely did with my own mother).
• I can learn & accept things beyond my own family
• I can earn, save and negotiate money
• Just because I come from a family that struggles does not mean that I will always struggle.

    So now I am going in deeper...  

    This house is one of the darkest mansions of my soul because it was the beginning of a fixation on materials and an image that I believed to be important.  It gave me something beyond my perception of myself to desire, however, those desires were fleeting or led to more desire.  It became an obsession to continue to find the next image or the next desire.  Leaving my family identity behind and choosing to become something more than "just me or where I come from" was one of the lies I accepted that kept me in darkness for quite some time.  Goodness prevailed because of the divinity that has been always been present in my life.  I was very much aware of God reaching out to me especially at this time of my life.    

    God's light and powerful reach have been obvious to me.  I have had dance moves going back and forth between my own desires and what God wills for me.   Teresa of Avila helps me understand the need for me to lean on my Father, the Trinity- especially the Holy Mother, and the angels and saints to fight and protect me.  I believe that I have been taught how important it is to be strong and intelligent.  2505 had me question the need to rely on my "spiritual parents and siblings".  The Holy Family helps me when I cannot see what they can see.  Yes, I am talking about the evils which cause me to take my gaze off of God and the path He has for me.  Desire became a creature that would become like a pet for me.  I tended to this pet and fed it regularly.  It grew.   I pray that my Holy Mother and Father will continue to help me grow as the child of God I was created to become with fewer "creatures" blocking my way (creatures being the sin which binds us per St Teresa).  The binding seems somehow connected to the chastity belt in a desirous-cultural way.

    The 

• chastity belt that I saw almost every Saturday night for years; 
• desire to leave my own home and family;
• confusion of the "things" we could not have;

were all the "poisonous vipers and creatures that prevented me from seeing the light" (Teresa of Avila's words).  St.Teresa explains that our beginning mansions are the darkest of the soul.  Our eyes have not adjusted to the light and we do not see the danger that might be just in front of us.  However, our Holy Father and Mother are protecting us.  As I grew up and acquired my vision of young adulthood I did not see the dangers that my spiritual warriors slaughtered just in front of me.  I prayed often.  And it seems that I may have been a bit like Mr. Magoo in a spiritual sense...  just missing getting run over by a bus.   

    BONDAGE:  

    I was about 16 when I looked up at the chastity belt and imagined what that must have been like for some woman to live with that heavy contraption.  The physical weight alone was enough to make me cringe, but now the thought of it as spiritual bondage has my attention.  All of the lies I took on as a young woman to what beauty and success were caused much pain inward and outward.  I felt for years that I was not beautiful or worthy of attention and I yearned desperately for it.  And, then I learned as a young woman how to work with the boundaries and levels within my culture.  I was likely more bound down at this point but did not realize it.  I was in the dark wearing a heavy, cultural image belt thinking I had the answers and could play this game pretty well.  St. Teresa would say, "poisonous cultural vipers" placed that heavy ugly thing around my creativity and authenticity.  Cultural sin is an ugly viper.  Mary reached out to me in my early twenties and I leaned into her as my life shifted back into place.

    How did I get that heavy belt off?  I did not.  I don't think I was even aware that I was wearing it.  My Mother Mary, the prayers of my mother, aunt, grandmother, father, angels, and saints interceded for me.  I truly believe this.  The chastity belt was first pried off in Medjugorie, Yugoslavia on a religious pilgrimage that my aunt gifted me.  I love adventure and exploration and said yes to her invitation to go to a small village in Yugoslavia.  My yearning for new things opened the door to a major shift in my life.  I thought I was past the point of another spiritual awakening.  I was wrong.  All I had to do was say "help me, Mother Mary" which I did outside a small church as I watched the sunset over the mountains.

  The spiritual release to fall back into line with what God created me to be was the key to unlocking that heavy belt.  Freedom at twenty-four brought me back to my authentic self and put me back on the path meant for me.  

    One last thought.  2505 has beauty and truth.  It is part of my fabric and much of it is good.  It also has its dangers that still creep up and try to fool me to this day.  I wonder often about choices I have made that have led me away from cultural prosperity and comfort.  I am content today.  I have enough- but every so often I wonder about the simpler life I chose.

    This I know for sure:  

    When I reach for the coattails of the Shepherd, I am headed in the right direction.  I am able to be serious, introspective, goofy, and ridiculous while still close to God.  So my word for 2021, I think, might be FOLLOW or REACH.  I want more than one word so that my "Follow" is connected to my Shepherd.  

    

Perhaps I will find a better word.  

How about Coattails?

One last thing...  

There is a big old Japanese maple in my current front yard 

with garnet-colored leaves.  

What should I wish/pray for in 2021?  

Give me good ideas!!

Am I a shadchanit?

So, what is the name for a mother who finds the perfect girl for her son??
I can only imagine what some of you are thinking...  control freak, too involved, blah, blah, blah
There is a real name for this and I will know this by the end of this post.

Recently, my oldest son had his heart bruised up by a girl he adored.  We liked her.  We honestly like the girls that Andrew has chosen to date so far...  but, so far he has not met the "one".

I think adoration is very important in relationships- if, and only if, it goes both ways.
When I was in my early twenties I noticed a pattern in relationships.  After about 9 months of being committed to a fella, I would see a shift in the relationship that was connected to attention and adoration.  Whether I adored more or he adored more...  when it was not balanced, it was something to seriously look at.  This became a flag that helped me realize if someone was not the best fit for me.  I also prayed that God would lead me to marry the person that He intended for me.
One time, I saw warning flags in 9 minutes and skipped happily away from what appeared to be a dreamboat- but was likely just a Pontoon Party Cruiser.  Fun once in a while... but not for the long haul.  I am way to serious in relationships for that.

That was a big moment in my life and realized I was getting better at seeing how people fit in my life!  I was 25 years old when I finally got this lesson.

Why was it a big moment?  Well, that was the afternoon I met my husband.  I literally walked away from the pontoon boat and sat down.  I looked across the restaurant and saw a beautiful smile on this man's face.  He walked over... yada yada yada.  That was in 1990.

 I relate dating to the fitting room and shopping for clothes:

•  Some things fit great, and you take them home.  Then,  you just don't wear them.  
• Some things don't fit well but you really like it, so you buy it anyway and rarely wear it.  
• Some things fit and look good.  Then, you just stop wearing it for whatever reason. 
•  And, then there are those faded jeans that you would wear everyday if you could.   Or, that green sweater that you just won't give away because it means more than anyone knows.  So how am I going to help my son find those jeans or that green sweater?

I was at this concert- Best blue jeans song ever! Take a listen- especially to the refrain.

There is nothing like a great fitting pair of jeans.










The memory I have of the night I met Patrick ...

Saint Patrick's Day of 1990.  I went out with about 6 girls in their early twenties.  We met at my apartment on Connecticut Ave and then headed downtown to the Rally in the Alley.  It was a rainy Saturday and of course we dressed in green.  I still have the faded green sweater that caught my Patrick's eye .  Yes.  His name is Patrick and I thought it was a line that he thought would be cute to say on Saint Patrick's Day.  I thought it was a fun line- but I didn't really believe that was his real name.  Well, I was sort of right.

His first name is John and his middle name is Patrick.  He did not want to share the name John with all the other John's in his family.  There are at least 3 that I know about.  So, here is a fact check...   Yes, John is one of the most popular names paired with Slifka (I could not even pronounce Slifka when I first heard it).  statistic web site
So, my little leprechaun was telling the truth.  He still answers to Patrick.

Top 20 Last Names
paired with the first name SLIFKA

Rank	Full Name	% of pop
1	David SLIFKA	3.80%
2	John SLIFKA	3.80%
3	Michael SLIFKA	2.72%

So in my early twenties I felt that God lead me toward Patrick and also towards teaching.  I was experiencing a back-n-forth, wave-like motion with Spirituality and Materialism.  I kept asking God to keep me close; "Please help me not to wander too far".  He answered this prayer- but man are the twenties hard.  I thank God that I didn't count on my strength to stay close...  the Holy Spirit never left my side even when I didn't see her.

Back to Andrew.  I am watching the same motion in his life.  I see a pattern rolling over and over like waves, except not always peaceful.  He reminds me so much of myself at his age and I am certain that he will be fine.  But, I ask myself, "Am I allowed to get involved here"?  I know some cultures do quite well when parents get involved with choosing a spouse.  I know 2 people personally who had arranged marriages that were ideal because their parents truly knew them and knew what would be good for them.  I have been praying for Andrew's spouse since he was born.  But, now?  What are the rules in 2020 and can I help?

I have found a girl- just someone for him to date.  Then we shall see how it goes?  

Helicopter mom?  But what if I have the right one?  or what if I find someone that helps him become a better version of himself?  

I sent him some pics of her and asked him to go to Bowie with me.  Go for me.  Let's go to Annapolis and have some drinks, or head to DC and visit Danielle.  And, maybe....  meet a girl.

She is the sister of Teri's tenant in her apartment on top of the garage.  This sweet pregnant girl (the sister, not the date) is having her baby today.  The day before Andrew's birthday 7/7   Luckiest day of the year.  I kinda hope she has this baby at 12:01 so that it is a fun part of this story.  Yes, I am dreaming right now of a romantic story of how my future daughter in law was predetermined.  How fun is that?  In the 1950's Hollywood made these stories up all the time.  Now, it is kinda controlling, freaky, and weird.

But here is the thing.  I want Andrew to meet a spitfire who is crazy about Jesus.  Someone who can bring out his Joy.  Someone strong enough to lead and follow at the same time.  Someone who knows the power of prayer.  Someone I would trust to be the mother of my grandchildren and that I would love to visit.   I don't even know this girl-- but maybe??  Yeah... Yeah.., I don't know Barbara at all.  I know her brother who dated my niece years ago, I know his mom who went to our highschool and is a pillar in my hometown.  But, all I know of Barbara is that Teri says she is full of energy, a good girl who loves babies and Jesus, and likes to have fun!  I like this.  

 I am praying for this situation right now.  It cannot be about me and how I want Andrew to have a good catholic girl-- it must be guided by the Holy Spirit.  So I lift this up.  I ask to be awakened as I am needed.  Wake me up when you need my hands, words, eyes, ears, or spirituality.

So a Yenta is the name many use for matchmakers, but that may not be what I am...  I am not known for my gossiping.  Especially in regards to my children.  I am more loving, caring, and concerned to be a Yenta.  I believe the word shadchanit may be a better word for me.  

"The one thing that I noticed immediately was the use of the word 'yenta,' because yenta doesn't actually mean matchmaker. It means, like, an old woman, an old gossipy woman. A shadchan is a matchmaker."

 Shadchanit   (click here for more on this word)

I was a shadchanit for my sister when I secretly put her on Catholicmatch.com.
Oh yeah- she had no idea and what fun that was!  That is a story for another time.

January 2020
Teri and James






So  Andrew and Brian are my sons and I care deeply about who they choose to journey with.  I have prayed their entire lives for their marriages- or whatever vocation they choose.  I believe that my prayers will be answered, but I also believe that if I am needed to help, nudge, wake up, or be quiet...  I will know.

So I write this with the intention of saving it in case I am following the will of God and this story is just the start of something beautiful.
God, I trust these boys in Your Hands.